A determined mind can conquer any ordeal that life encounters. But what if the mind is weak? How will a person even plan the battle? Today I am going to talk about a mental illness- Bipolar.
Bipolar formerly called manic depression, is a mental illness that brings severe high and low moods and changes in sleep, energy, thinking, and behavior. ( read more about it here )
Also, according to the World Health Organisation report in 2011, one out of seven people in India i.e 15 per cent of Indian population was depressed and in 2015, one out of five people in India i.e 20 per cent of Indian population is depressed that showcases an alarming increase in rates of depression by five per cent of the population in just a span of four years putting us all in grave situation. ( source)
As mentioned in the above source it is studied that 26,00,00,000 Indians is depressed! Unfortunately I am one among them. I was diagnosed with depression and a gynecology issue last year. I had attended two therapy and counseling sessions but discontinued it. I did not like the taboo associated with it to consume me. I knew deep down inside I wasn’t normal yet, I chose to run away from my problem. I ran for almost a year until last month when my body started reacting and asking me to stop and give it a chance to heal.
I am a bipolar type two patient now . For rest of the world I’m a normal person. I am a working woman and I have everything under the sun to be happy about. Then how the hell I did I attract it? I don’t know and it’s the only answer I gave when my mother asked. My dad, on contrary, was empathetic and consoled me that I have few chemical imbalance in my brain and soon I will be fine. Trust me my whole world had turned upside down in a mute mode when the doctor revealed it. I am on medication since a month and I have no choice other than cajoling self to consume the pale colored magic pills.
There are days where I feel euphoric and happy and there are days where I completely feel morose and wasted. There are days when my creative nerves hit the accelerator and there are days where I cannot read a word. Writing and reading books have been my favorite since my childhood. I did panic at first but now that I have accepted my illness, I only look forward for the good days where my happiness is limited till it is eclipsed by the blue episodes. Now why I am saying this here? Simple. Today it is me tomorrow it could be someone who is near and dear to you. So when you find someone asking for help please don’t hesitate to give a helping hand. If you feel you are getting burdened by the patient’s problem please leave. You are in fact doing a great favor just by walking out. If you want to stay then be empathetic, do not ask questions which would push your dear one down the dark labyrinth.
The 26,00,00,000, depressed Indians are the ones recorded. There are many like them who do not feel comfortable in wriggling out of the hole in which they remain confined. They fear about the taboos associated with the mental illness. Mental illness is still considered as a stigma in most of the societies. But this is also a fact that there are a plenty of people who are open about the very idea of speaking loud and clear not bothering what ‘society’ thinks. Instead they want to reach out to people and convey “you are not alone in this journey. It’s going to be fine soon if you are surrounded with lovely and compassionate people.”
My friends and most importantly my father and mother have been a great boon to my life. I have a younger sister who reaches out and wraps me in her arms when I break down. One of my close friend listens to me with great amount of patience when he himself is setting his foot in a new chapter of his life. My another close friend makes me laugh till my stomach hurts with her witty come backs and punches in her pun and another beautiful soul and a dear friend is trying to cheer me up with his lame chitter chatter. At office , my colleague’s ( also good workplace-buddy) presence is a sheer blessing. We both somehow manage to take a break from our schedule and relish a cup of tea together and discuss our hypothetical future business plans. Moreover, I have a friend who at the moment is far from me but manages to keep a check on me regularly.
My psychiatrist is an outstanding contributor. He affirms that my roller coaster ride will end soon and the future is not a scary dynasty. I just need to follow him and trust him. My dreams to pursue MA publishing in one of the reputed college at London is waiting for me and that assures me I will conquer this illness without much ado. So, I have people watching my back and it is highly therapeutic. Just cannot stop feeling more grateful to them.
These days I follow Frank Kafka quotes and would like to end this post with this quote “From a certain point onward there is no longer any turning back. That is the point that must be reached.” Oh by the way, I have no qualms while writing this in a public forum.