Post Ordeals

Dear Readers,

I am back . This time I have two things to say but before that let me just rewind what happened and how this post is up on my website.

Recently I had posted that I was diagnosed with bipolar type 2 and the ordeals I am constantly facing. It is difficult to be a sturdy minded and eating the pale colored magic pills is another little irritating thing to do. I have always hated eating medicines and I will agree I have missed taking medicines in past few months. November 2015 is my favorite month as I maintained a certain level of sobriety. December was a contradictory. There were episodes of anxiety, panic attacks and numerous times of breaking down to tears.

So what are the two things I wanted to say? I have a good news as well as not so good news. I have hit back to reading books and indulging in some interesting and entertaining reads. The reading kicked off with Dongri To Dubai by Mr. Hussain Zaidi in November and was able to read till the first part of the book. After a brief break, I picked up a book on bipolar disorder Haldol and Hycinths A Bipolar Life by Ms.Melody Moezzi. One of my close friend suggested me to give a try. There is no harm in knowing your illness and being aware of it. I wanted to give it a try.

The most devastating fact I came across while reading Ms. Melody’s work is that there is no ultimate cure for Bipolar. They can be tamed with regular medicines. This put me off the radar, it caught me in its grip for sometime. I did not know what to do and how do I stop feeling helpless. Constant thinking on the same issue made me feel even more lonely, remorseful and had numerous convoluted web growing inside my head. My friends and a confidante at workplace came to my rescue and gave me their fresh perspective. I am slowly accepting this new revelation.

Last week, I  had my regular therapy and counselling session with my doctor and during this session I shared how upset I was with him. He cleared all my doubts related to my illness. At times, talking helps and I am glad that I spoke. He also liked the idea of me reading and getting to know my illness. He asked me to have some change in choice of reading as too much reading about a same topic might not be advisable. I told him I had another dosage of reading ready in my hand by the time I finished Ms. Melody’s book. He further added to indulge in activities which I love splurging my time.

After Haldol and Hyacinths, I picked up Mr. Ravi Subramanian’s latest The Best Seller She Wrote and reviewed it. I would finish the book in one sitting if I did not have to take medicines. I read first 305 pages in one sitting till late night and the rest I finished whilst travelling to my office the next morning. It was fresh take on my choice of reading. Currently I am reading Yashodhara Lal’s There is Something About You. It is already day four and I have not crossed the 100th page. Sigh! Back to pavilion may be but not for too long because I blogged and this is another package of achieving something after a long gap.

Until next time,

Yours Truly


Comment on “Post Ordeals”

  1. Belated Happy New Year..’s good to know that you have come to know more about your illness..some people take lifelong medicines for their are at least lucky to take it for some period until it comes under control…there is not a cure I agree…but you have an excellent support system that not many people with biploar are able to get..they turn suicidal. So the good news is you are one of the luckiest persons in the world..not all people with bipolar write as food as you.
    Second..It’s good to see your post again and the kind of books you are reading..I hope to read these titles soon…Like Yashodhara Lal’s title says…There is something about you..

    You are special.

    Waiting for your next post.

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