I am home these days. I have taken sabbatical from my work for few months. Days without encouraging work atmosphere is hounding me. I feel wasted at home. To top on my woes, the weather in my hometown is actually not working in my favour. You sweat under a full speed fan. I am taking ample rest and trying to occupy myself with tasks.
Why did I take sabbatical?
I was not feeling good. Constant loneliness was gripping me slowly and I did not want to succumb to it. There were days where I would break down to tears and have episodes of anxiety. I was feeling I am losing out on things. Professionally I was doing good, I was getting important coverage for my clients. I had enthusiasm to work. However, I wasn’t sleeping well. My weight has increased drastically.
I am on sleeping tablets and I do not like the idea of being dependent on it. Bipolar days are not quite an easy cake walk. Personally for me it is like a constant assurance on every second that I am going to come out of this situation very soon. I am in a repair mode. I was having emotional support but that support was slowly turning into an emotional dependence. My doctor said ” Find strength in yourself. Avoid negative people and negative thoughts. Do something that makes you feel calm. Indulge in hobbies that have taken back seat.” His words still ring in my ears.
After few serious conversation with my parents and friends I decided to call managing director of my organisation and revealed about my health issues. Luck was in my favour I guess for he readily asked me to choose a date for sabbatical. He just wished me luck for my recovery. I did as he said and today I am here writing how I feel about my sabbatical days. I am sleeping well. I am not dependent on sleeping pills. I must say I feel it is kind of an achievement for me.
By the way dear readers I have almost finished reading eight books in the past three months. I am currently reading An Unnecessary Woman by Rabih Alameddine. Before I end this post I want you to read this post from one of my favourite author and also a fellow bipolar fighter – Ms. Melody Moezzi. Do give it a read.
Until next time